[Editorial] Films To Ruin Your Day: This Little Piggy Went To Market

Artwork by Sludgework

All film lovers will be aware of how we unconsciously pick up on running themes amongst films and during a week of movie viewing, I happened to stumble across a little pig fucking trend… Yep, what a trend to find. Don’t worry, not all the films on this list deal with bestiality but they do all have pigs in common, and the poor fuckers are pretty much never having a good time. 

Animal lovers beware of this one as you might find it pretty upsetting, but most of it is only fiction so you shouldn’t be too offended. And if you are, well the title does say it was going to ruin your day.

Calvaire (2004)

Backwoods hillbilly horror becomes even more exacerbated when you isolate a large group of men without any female presence, which is exactly what you get in Fabrice Du Welz’s horror film Calvaire. After Marc’s (Lauren Lucas) vehicle breaks down, he becomes the guest of the strange Mr. Bartel (Jackie Berroyer) who seems nice enough at first but soon makes it apparent that he’s going to use Marc as his little play thing.

Whilst Marc is out for a walk in the village, he gets a sneak peak of the true atrocities that happen when men are left alone… And he witnesses a family gather round one of their boys ‘tenderly’ (their words, not mine) fucking a pig in the barn. Told ya, it’s just what happens where there ain’t no-one else to fuck, and fair enough, they need to get their kicks somewhere. Sadly for Marc, he’s a bit better than the pig so before he knows it, they’ve got him in a dress and are ready to go.

Pig (2010)

There’s actually no pig fucking in this one, which might seem like it’s going to make for an easier watch, but you couldn’t be further from the truth. So I stumbled across this film and spent a long, long time seeking it out which led me to a kind person on the internet with a copy to share. The reason it’s so hard to find is that director Adam Mason decided it was so depraved and morally wrong that it was best to leave it to disappear. 

Pig first premiered on Bloody Disgusting and is a 100% improvised, one take film following one man as he tortures, abuses, rapes and murders his victims, assaulting their dead bodies and consuming body parts. This film is TOUGH to sit through and feels incredibly cruel, and probably against all human rights. Plus the ending made my skin crawl on levels like nothing before.

Taxidermia (2006)

This might just classify as one of the strangest films I’ve ever stumbled into, and although not quite as ‘hardcore’ as some of the other suggestions often featured in this column, it certainly left a lasting impression on me. Three stories set over three generations, György Palfi’s Taxidermia follows one man who has some seriously disturbing sexual fantasies which result in his son, who becomes a speed eating champion and ends up in a grotesque and then his son who naturally is obsessed with taxidermy. 

I don’t know what it is about pigs, but clearly they seem to resemble the human form in some way or another, as this is another film in which the first man in story ends up fucking a pig. What makes the scene even worse is that it is a gigantic grotesque pig, which also happens to have already been slaughtered. So yes, he sodomises a dead pig… Trust me, you’re not going to eat bacon in the same way again. 

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

Most people won’t instantly think of pigs when they think of Ruggero Deodato’s extremely disturbing and controversial film Cannibal Holocaust but they will mention animal cruelty, and depending on which cut of the film you’re watching, then you’ll know that extends to a little baby pig. When a camera crew goes missing in the Amazon, a professor goes to rescue them and finds the horrific truth regarding the events surrounding their disappearance when he discovers their camera tapes. 

The animal cruelty in this film causes outrage, and I often ask myself - am I really allowed to be upset when a pig is shot in the head considering I’m a meat eater? Probably not, but seeing this on screen for what looks like entertainment purposes is shocking and upsetting. Supposedly the cast and tribes people ate the pig so I guess we don’t need to feel too guilty about it after all.

Vase De Noces aka The Pig Fucking Movie (1974)

You probably don’t even need me to go into details considering the title alone does quite enough of that, but it wouldn’t be any fun if I didn’t… Thierry Zeno’s experimental film Vase De Noces aka One Man and His Pig aka The Pig Fucking Movie aka Wedding Trough (so many titles) is about one man that becomes obsessed with a sow on his farm and decides to make love to it, which results in little piglets running arond the farm (don’t worry, they don’t have any human features). 

The film itself sounds worse than it actually is, so if you’re expecting to go in and be overwhelmed with shock, you’ll certainly be disappointed - I know I was. Although the zoophilia in the film isn’t real (thank god) and is actually only about 10 seconds long, there are real animal killings in this and real shit eating - eat your heart out Salo!

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