[Editorial] Love Hurts: The Anti-Valentines List 2023

It’s Pisces season baby! The official time for romance, emotions and... erm... fish? 

For most of us horror fans though, February is no different to any other month – we want to settle down on the sofa after the cold journey home from work, cosy up with a hot water bottle and a cup of tea, and watch something that will make us too scared to go to sleep.

So, here we are with our Anti-Valentines List (2023 edition).

As with last year's list, each of these films centre around romance, relationships, and sexual exploration, however they all also skip the lame predictable happy endings and notions of love conquering all, and instead choose violence.

The Loved Ones (2009)

It’s an obvious one, so obvious in fact that I have no idea why it wasn’t on my 2022 edition, but better late than never – The Loved Ones is top of our Anti-Valentines list this February.

This iconic offering from Australian Director Sean Byrne stars Xavier Samuel as high school student Brent who, after politely declining a date with classmate Lola Stone, is kidnapped and tortured at the hands of Stone and her father.

McLeavy gives a completely unhinged performance as Lola, who switches between spoiled bratty princess and sexually manipulative torturer in rapid succession. Turning the damsel in distress trope on its head, poor Brent is subjected to some pretty extreme punishment for his rejection, and just when you think it can't really get any worse, Lola calmly says “Daddy, get me the drill” GULP!

Fresh (2022)

Surprising absolutely no one, we HAD to include Sebastian Stan’s tasty treat Fresh to our anti-Valentines list this year.

Focusing on the true horror of dating in the modern world, Fresh follows Noa (Daisy Edgar-Jones) as she navigates through her mid-20s interacting with nothing but terrible men she meets on crappy dating apps. That is, of course, until she meets Steve (Stan) in the aisle of a grocery store and they immediately hit it off.

Following their meet-cute, she shares with her suspicious best friend that she and Steve will be taking a romantic weekend away together. To say anymore would be to enter spoiler-territory, but let's just say that her friend was not wrong to be suspicious...

Fresh is just that. It’s fun, flirty, and sparkling with chemistry between the lead characters, which only makes it all the more disturbing. (It also made the Ghouls Top 10 Films of 2022)

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A Wounded Fawn (2022)

Not dissimilar to Fresh, this Shudder exclusive stars horror-hottie Josh Ruben as a serial killer who lures an unsuspecting Meredith (Sarah Lind) to a romantic weekend away in a remote location. 

A Wounded Fawn has more of a supernatural twist though – as Bruce (Ruben) is seemingly spurred on to kill by an ominous owl-like figure, Meredith also receives a warning message from an unknown presence willing her to “run!”

As the film escalates, things start to get really trippy as what appears to be a typical boy-meets-girl slasher turns into an artsy-grindhouse splatter with themes of Greek mythology, and coloured with the blood red palette of a Giallo film. 

It’s what us Brits call a ‘marmite film’ for sure, in that you will either love it or hate it (but you won’t forget it).

Piggy (2022)

A standout film from 2022, Piggy is the Spanish horror that centres on overweight teen Sara (Laura Galan) as she’s relentlessly bullied by a group of local ‘cool’ girls, and even her own parents, because of her size. Sara is tormented with the nickname ‘Piggy’, and one day at the local pool the bullies take it a step further than name-calling by stealing her clothes and leaving her to walk home half-naked. 

Their fun is short-lived though, when a mysterious stranger seems to take a stand for Sara by kidnapping them. Sara sees the man, and she also sees the girls in the back of his van screaming for help. Now she has a serious decision to make – does she tell the police what she saw in hopes they can find and rescue the girls? Or does she keep quiet and enjoy her freedom finally, as well as the romantic advances of her mysterious hero?

Piggy is a beautifully executed film about being an outsider, and about the difficult choices we make to protect our own peace. Galan is most definitely one to watch.

(Piggy also made the Ghouls Top 10 Films of 2022)

Ready or Not (2020)

When orphan Grace (Samara Weaving) marries into the prestigious Le Domas family, she is unaware of the time-honoured tradition that they hold for all new members. Grace must take part in a game at midnight on the night of her wedding - a game that is chosen at random by a mysterious artefact left behind by a family ancestor. 

“We’re not really going to play that are we?” she asks through confused laughter as she holds the ‘hide and seek’ card in her hand. Despite the ridiculousness of it all, she agrees of course, but this is not the hide and seek you may remember from your childhood – this time there is just one hider, and a whole fucked-up family of seekers. 

Often cited as one of the top titles in the ‘good for her’ genre, Ready or Not is a film I will recommend at any given opportunity because it is bold, fun and completely bonkers.

Read my full review here.

The Invisible Man (2020)

A modern take on the classic story, The Invisible Man cleverly turns the trauma and ptsd of surviving an abusive relationship into a tangible villain for our lead to go head-to-head with.

Cecilia (Elisabeth Moss) has been trapped with her abuser (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) - millionaire and master manipulator – for years. After the film opens with her executing an incredibly well-thought-out escape plan, she worries that she is still not free, until she hears the news that in his ‘heartbreak’, he has taken his own life.

Her relief is short lived though, when she begins to hear and feel him around her. She may not be able to see him, but Cecilia is sure that he has found a way to torture her from beyond the grave.

The Invisible Man is another triumph in tension from director Leigh Whannel. It’s frightening, frustrating and absolutely thrilling. 

Men (2022)

One of the most talked-about films of 2022, Men follows Harper as she escapes to the countryside following the suicide of her husband. As the film plays out, it’s revealed that she is living with the guilt of his death, as it followed an argument in which she tried to leave him. 

The home she’s rented is peaceful and set against the beauty of the rural English landscapes, however her discomfort never truly eases and she experiences a number of encounters with men who exhibit increasingly strange and unsettling behaviour.

For a while it seems like Harper may just be a little paranoid as a result of escaping an abusive relationship and now finding herself secluded from reality, but soon Men drifts into surreal visuals and outright stomach-churning situations that show us the true peril she’s in.

Probably one of the most divisive films of the last few years, Men is truly one that needs to be seen to be believed.

Read Jerry Sampsons full review here.

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The Sadness (2021)

One for the extreme fans amongst us, The Sadness is a love story with guts – figuratively and literally.

Set in Taiwan, the story follows Jim (Berant Zhu) and his girlfriend Kat (Regina Lei) as they try to navigate their way back to each other through the carnage of an unexplained outbreak.

Unlike your typical zombie movie though, the infected here aren't rendered mindless walking corpses just looking for brains to eat – they're transformed into perverse rabid animals spurred on by their most violent urges to find throats to slit, genitals to crush and SPOILER! eye-sockets to fuck (yes, seriously!). 

Our Editor in Chief Zoe found The Sadness absolutely hilarious, whilst I had to turn it off forty minutes in because I felt nauseous... Which side will you land on?

Check out our interview with Director Rob Jabbaz here.

Promising Young Woman (2021)

If you’re in the mood to get all in your feels this February, Promising Young Woman may be your top pick from our list. 

Cassie (Carey Mulligan) is living a double life. By day, she is a barista at a local coffee shop, keeping herself to herself and navigating a strained relationship with her parents – the reason for which isn’t quite clear from the offset. By night she is teaching lecherous, predatory men lessons on appropriate behaviour and consent. 

When she meets Ryan (Bo Burnham) we begin to see some light in Cassie again as she wrestles with whether to let go of her anger and her need to punish those around her. Ryan’s influence makes her realise that there is finally a possibility of a future where she is happy, if only she can let go of the past. 

Promising Young Woman uses candyfloss visuals and bubble-gum pop music to offset the constant hum of trauma running through every aspect of Cassie's life. It shines a light on the hard reality that the blame for sexual assault doesn’t always rest solely on the assailant, and that the person being assaulted doesn't always end up being the only victim.

Read Zoe Smith’s full review here.

Violation (2020)

What better way to end our list than with a film that will make you want to take a bath in bleach?

Violation is written, directed and inspired by the personal experiences of Dusty Mancinelli and lead star Madeleine Sims-Fewer. Fewer stars as Miriam in this time-bendy thriller about the trauma caused by sexual assault and the complicated reality of exacting personal revenge.

In the present we see that there is no great love lost between Miriam and her sister as she tries to talk to her about her problems and confide in her about what she’s been going through. In flash-backs, we see snippets of Miriam's complicated relationship with her husband and her inappropriate and disturbing (to say the least) interactions with her sister's husband. 

It’s rare that a rape-revenge film doesn’t have you cheering by the end, glad that the victim is finally getting the bloody retribution that they deserve, but Violation makes you question everything you think you know and feel about justice, and blurs the lines on what should be a black and white, good vs evil scenario.

Read Zoe Smith’s full review here.

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