[Film Review] In My Skin / Dans Ma Peau (2002)

The aspect of the ‘every day’ in horror is one that truly conveys one of the most realistic and horrifying ways to experience the genre, it serves as a reminder to the audience that no matter how mundane or normal a day can be, there is always the chance that violence, destruction and terror can infiltrate that world in an instance.

Trigger warning: Self-harm and body identity disorders

Meandering through life without a second thought and being duly interrupted by some form of disturbance in every day life which leads to consequences and situations that seem perturbing and deranged - this is a portrayal of true realistic horror. Which is exactly what Marina de Van achieves in her exceptionally disturbing yet powerful horror film, Dans Ma Peau / In My Skin, from the New French Extremity wave of films. 

Esther is a marketing professional who meanders through life without making much of an impression. She and a colleague go to a party one evening in which Esther sustains an injury to her leg whilst walking around outside to take a small breather away from the party. After injuring herself without even completely realising, Esther grows more and more obsessed with this wound and starts to explore mutilating and self harming herself. This display of self-manipulation becomes increasingly dangerous as Esther seems to fall into a desperate state where inflicting these traumatic injuries on herself is the only way she can be at peace with herself and the world around her. 

On surface level, Dans Ma Peau, gives the impression of being an exploitative NFE film which has no real substance other than shocking the viewer, however, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Firstly the film examines how one small inconceivable incident can completely alter the course of one person’s path and change their entire life forever. Esther simply injures herself at a party, but this everyday occurrence ignites something within her that allows her to begin exploring her personal fascination with her own body. This theme of the ‘every day’ is something analysed in detail in author Ali Taylor’s ‘Troubled Everyday: The Aesthetics of Violence and the Everyday in European Art Cinema’, which looks at a selection of New French Extremity films, and others, and how they appropriately incite an ignition of violence during an everyday occurrence. It is this occurrence that feels so realistic and disturbing, because the viewer begins to identify a pattern that violence and horror doesn’t have to have an intense build up to happen. In real life we are not given a 45 minute tension building atmosphere that allows us to know that something awful is going to happen and begin to find ways to escape this, in reality disturbing situations can arise from the banality of nothing and destroy a life in mere seconds. The entirety of Esther’s life is altered by something so mundane and average that it becomes shocking to experience.

Marina de Van presents the audience with complex themes throughout the film, ones that confront us and serve as a reminder that society’s expectations of women and their bodies has always been troublesome. De Van plays Esther in the film, which adds a further layer of fascination, for she portrays her own character in depth and really encompasses the feelings that Esther is wading through. As Esther becomes more and more consumed by her own affliction, she seems to simultaneously become disassociated from her body whilst also becoming more in tune with her mind and self; her body is merely a host for the personality within and it seems that Esther has always felt like having the body she does has hindered who she was truly meant to be from a spiritual perspective. The representation of body integrity disorder and body dysmorphia are both seen on screen and allow the audience to resonate with Esther’s feelings that her body is a vessel that she feels stops her from being able to fully embrace the person she wants to be. Over the course of the film Esther becomes more self-aware of herself; her lack of confidence disappears, she says what she wants, she does what she wants and she becomes more self-assured in everything she does - something that everyone around her finds difficult to accept. Even though she is secretly self-harming herself by cutting at her own flesh, removing pieces and even storing them as keepsakes, Esther becomes awakened and gradually at peace with herself and who she was meant to be. It is within these scenes of self-harm that the audience feel squeamish and horrified, however, these scenes are not portrayed in a gratuitous and exploitative nature, instead they feel emotionally distinctive and tender in many ways. Although through an extreme measure, Esther is finally beginning to discover herself and that her body does not define who she is, which is why she keeps on disassociating from herself and everyone around her. 

The relationships portrayed in Dans Ma Peau are of high interest, particular Esther’s relationship with her partner Vincent, played by French horror icon Laurent Lucas (Calvaire, Raw). Esther is clearly going through a personal time in her life, and warrants help and support through this period, however, Vincent continuously treats her like a child and makes everything about himself. Not once does he consider the possibility that Esther might require his undivided devotion through this period, and also some professional help, instead he belittles her and finds ways to reprimand her for the self-harm she has inflicted, something that will not deter Esther from continuing. Vincent also makes every situation about himself; the woman he supposedly loves stands before him with self-inflicted injuries all over her body and instead of asking how she is, he states that Esther cannot be happy with him and that is the reason she is self-harming, rather than realising the entire situation is about her and not him in any way. This depiction resonates clearly with the audience, as it is so easy for those around us to blame themselves and make the situation about them rather than recognising that self-harm and destruction are always about the personal individual and not others around them. 

Even though Esther is suffering tremendously from this affliction that has grown, as a viewer it is easy to connect with her character and see the reasons behind why she is obsessed with cutting her own flesh. The dissociation she has with the world around her can be read in many ways, but feeling disconnected to those around you felt like such a powerful message - during periods of self-exploration we often find ourselves turning inwards to discover the person we are or the person we would like to be. Body dysmorphia is a visual representation of how the image we see in the mirror often does not reflect what we expect it to and therefore we struggle to come to terms with who we are and what we are. Esther finds that through self-harm comes a form of catharsis and a grounding to reality and herself - being able to fully control an aspect of herself that determines so much, especially in the eyes of others. Esther goes through all these complex feelings and allows the viewer to find an intimate connection that is completely about being aware of the self and connected fully to it. Dans Ma Peau might be regarded as one of the most disturbing and shocking movies ever made, but if you cut through the flesh of the film and look a little deeper it is clear to see that Marina de Van created a masterpiece about self understanding and discovery.

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